Me centésimo post…my one hundredth post

On the occasion of my one hundredth post, I shall permit myself a moment of reflection and publish what perhaps is my manifesto.  En la ocasión de mi centésimo post, me permito un momento de reflexión, publicando lo que podría ser mi manifiesto.

I bought the domain alteayoga.com five years ago.  I was still in my teacher training and dreaming of wowing the world with my yoga teaching.  I started the blog a year later, with a post for an introductory yoga course.  No one signed up for the course. That was when the harsh reality of yoga teaching first blew me a bitter kiss bonjour. Since 2010, I have been offering yoga classes.  It is now 2013.  I have 8 regular students.  I love them all.  I have had people contact me through my website and by blog, but the commercial side of yoga teaching and an online presence seems to elude me yet.

But you know what?  I don’t mind one bit.  Because, in the intervening years, I have carried on my personal work and grown on so many levels.  I have let go of a lot of stuff, too, so perhaps I have shrunk a little too.  I internalized my belief that every student finds the yoga teacher they are meant to have.  I realized that my teaching yoga is a vocation, not a job.  It is what I am meant to do, and my students are the people who are meant to receive the message of yoga via me.  That’s all.  Simple eh?

I keep blogging because I love writing.  I have always loved writing.  Through all my moves, turmoils and travels, I diarised, rhymed and wrote.  I have years of journals packed lovingly away.  I still use pen and paper.  A more sanitised and coherent version appears here and in my songs.  It’s been three years and I have less than 30 followers.  And you know what?  I don’t mind one bit.  Wordsmithing was my dad’s job.  It’s my passion.   I write this blog because I enjoy writing it, not because I have an audience. 

So, indulging myself some more, I shall now make a list of a few things I believe, and publish it, knowing that the world isn’t interested in the slightest!

1.  Living well is the best revenge.  I haven’t even bothered googling it’s origin.  In these times of savings-grabs and banks going bankrupt and houses sitting empty while families are turfed onto the streets, I realised that living well is, indeed, the best revenge.  When wages go down and hours go up and everyone is on the dole, the thing The Man can never take away is your smile.  No matter what shit they throw your way, shout back “show me the hoops!”  And as long as you are not starving and sun-struck on a lost Saharan dune, vultures casting the only shadow for miles around, as long as all is not lost, LIVE WELL!  There is always something good going on.  Money doesn’t stop you having fun…worry and fear do.  The Spanish may be bad businessmen, but they sure know a lot about what I have just written.  Viva la fiesta, que es la vida!

2.  Hemp is God’s gift to humanity.  I eat hemp seeds, hemp protein and hemp oil every day.  My daughter eats hemp seeds every day.  Hemp grows fast and high and can be used for so many things.  The use of marijuana is safer than the use of alcohol.  I would rather meet a stoner than a drunk in a dark alleyway.  I think that some of our current anxious depression could be eased by using more weed and less tobacco.

3.  I believe in the family.  I am lucky to be with an Italian, whose attitude to family is totally different to what mine was.  Mine was all about fracture and trying to get away.  Theirs is about love.  It’s simple. My Italian family takes love as the preface to everything else.  Even when you fail, you are loved.  I was definitely raised with the feeling that love had to be earned, and could be taken away without warning.  Although I have strained and struggled to live in the confines of a mono(tonous)gamous relationship, through it, I have found a reserve of love far deeper and stronger than what I had known before.  This font of love gives me strength.   Family ties give us strength.  Let’s not get carried away here:  some families are toxic, and some relatives have to remain at arm’s length.  But when there is sanity and fairness, families give us the roots we need in order to fly.

4.  Always seek the middle way and trust in the path you are on. Don’t be tempted by mountains to scale.  Don’t be frightened by valleys so deep.  Just be patient, go as fast or as slow as seems right at the time.  Don’t be afraid to change gear, reverse, or even choose a different path from the one you’ve trodden all this time.  Approach life with a curious. grinning enthusiasm.  Leave room for uncertainty and error.  You never know what the Universe has in store for you.  That seemingly annoying deviation or delay might just lead you to the Nirvana you’d never have found on your own.  Everything that is in your Path is there to teach you.  So learn.

5.  Take magnesium.  Chloride.  Salts.  Every day.

6.  I only have my own two hands.  I yearn to change the world for the better, but spent years frustrated by my seeming inability to change anything about this mess we are in (or not, depending on your perspective.  I actually believe we are in transition, not heading for disaster.  But I think that I am in the minority…)  Then I realised that what little I am able to do counts. I offer everything up to Ishvara, the universal consciousness. Every massage, every yoga class, every meal.  I only have my own two hands.  May my tiny effort tip the balance of happiness in this world.  Ishvarapranidanah.

7.  Creativity is key to good health.  I play music.  My guy does ceramic.  My kid loves to draw.  I bet you have your special little thing that you like to do – patchwork, card making, crochet, dj’ing, gardening, photography…Whatever it is that floats your boat is what you need to dedicate a bit of time to every week, if not every day.  Creation heals.  So, get your hands and heart engaged- now! – and marvel at what lil’ old you can do!

8. Adopt an attitude of gratitude.  Stop judging and start loving.

9.  The European Union is a peace project.  I moved to Europe from Canada to be part of this grand effort.  I believe in in wholeheartedly.  It has been derailed of late by banking woes and austerity programs, but at its core, it is a project designed to prevent the outbreak of war.  It is unfashionable to voice pride in European culture and values.  Well, I believe in our culture. I would much rather be a woman, raising a daughter, in Europe than practically anywhere else.  The EU may be flawed in its execution, but the core is sound and I am glad to be a part of it.

10.  We are antennae, not ants.  It is easy to get caught up in the mundane rushrushrush of life.  It is easy to think that we are only drones, with no purpose other than pleasure, pain and procreation.  But this is not so.  We humans are upright because we are the planet’s antennae.  Alone, we are specks of cosmic danruff.  United, we broadcast the cosmic wave.  When enough of us sit down to meditate, we shall connect with the Universal Consciousness and nothing will again be as it was.

La traducción español en breve…

1.  Vivir bien es la mejor venganza.  No siquiera conozco el origen del refrán, pero no dudo que sea verdadero.  En estos tiempos de incertidumbre que estan trascurriendo, nuestro único recurso es nuestra sonrisa interior.  El Hombre no to puede quitar eso.  Cuando te mandan mierda, grita fuerte “por cuanto alto salto?” Mientras que no está todo perdido y los buitres no se estan acercando, VIVE BIEN!  Siempre hay algo de bueno.  Falta de dinero no te quita la alegría…el miedo y la preocupación, si.  Los españoles me han enseñado eso – viva la fiesta!

2.  El cañamo es un regalo divino para la humanidad.  Como diariamente semillas, proteina y aceite de cañamo.   Mi hija come semillas de cañamo a diario.  El cañamo crece fuerte y rápido y se usa para un montón de cosas.  Creo que la marijuana es más sana que el alcohol.  Prefiero cruzarme en una calle oscura con un fumador que con un borracho.  Creo que nuestra ansiedad y depresión colectiva podría mejorarse emplando más verde y menos tobacco.

3.  Creo en la familia.  Los vínculos familiares, siempre mientras sean sanos y equitable, nos dan las raices que necesitamos para volar.  Doy gracias a mi familia italiana por enseñarme que el amor antes todo es lo que más vale.  

4.  Busca el camino del medio y confia en tu camino actual.  No tengas miedo de cambiar la dirección, poner marcha atrás y a veces incluso frenar.  Deja espacio para cometer errores.  A veces las equivocaciones nos lleva al Nirvana que ni siquiera esperabamos.  Ten fé, respira honda.

5.  Toma magnesio.  Cloruro de magnesio.  Sales.  Todos los días.

6.  Solo dispongo de mis dos manos.  Aunque mis esfuerzos sean pequeños, los hago con humildad y entrega.  Ofrezco todo a la conciencia universal – Ishvara. Ishvarapranidanah.

7.  La creatividad es clave para la plena salud. Haga lo que hagas – música, dibujo, dj, jardinería, – hazlo sabiendo que tu arte es tu sanación. 

8.  La actitud de gratitud.  Deja de juzgar y comienza a amar. 

9.  La Unión Europea es un proyecto de la paz.  No hay otro proyecto de tal escala con pretensión de prevenir la guerra.  Estoy orgullosa del proyecto europeo y orgullosa de ser parte de el. 

10.  Somos antennae, no hormigas.  No te quedas atrapado en el día a día.  Los seres humanos somos las antennae del planeta Tierra.  Solos, no somos más que caspa cósmica.  Unidos, emitiremos una frequencia cósmica que nos unirá a la Conciencia Universal y, entonces, nada será como lo era antes. 

AUM.  The Guru is in you.

Os invito a una charla…Tema: El magnesio

Dénia, sábado 1 junio, 2013:  Jornada de Bienestar y Salud Dénia.

11:30 “Mejora su salud con magnesio”.

Estais todos bienvenidos!

My personal yog: To thine own Self be true

My personal practice has been suffering of late.  Time, but also boredom, has kept me off the mat.  Granted, I have been practising a lot of yoga of daily life, being aware, present, joyful, honest and patient.  Well, most of the time.

Then I read this article, about how to be an inspiring yoga teacher, in which the author says:

When you give yourself permission to abandon the rules, to listen and truly explore and celebrate your body through the shapes and then share what you discover with your students, the movement becomes medicine. My partner and Laughing Lotus co-founder, Jasmine Tarkeshi, always says that to be a good teacher you’ve got to be a soul scientist. You truly must go into a laboratory and investigate your sacred self through your body, every single day.

Heck yeah!  I need to remember that sometimes.

The system I know and teach is called Viniyoga.  The central tenet of this system is “the yoga adapts to the person, not the person to the yoga”.  It is a system that can be considered the peak of Krishnamacharya’s life’s work and investigation.  I believe wholeheartedly in that core message and have iron faith in my teacher, Carmen, and my lineage (Krishnamacharya -> TKV Desikachar -> Claude Maréchal -> Christina S. de Ynestrillas -> Carmen Sánchez Segura).  And yet, and yet…lately something hadn’t been quite right.

I embarked on the second phase of my teacher training, the “Post-Formation” last autumn.  The format was different than the first part (once every two months, a residential weekend away) but the content built solidly on the earlier teachings.  Perhaps a bit too solidly…more sutras?  more posture analysis? etc…Boredom has always been my bugbear, so I knew I need not heed that little voice inside saying “something new…something new…go and find something new…”

What was putting me off?  Boredom, yes.  But more than anything,  a distinct lack of joy was bringing the whole tone down.  I felt the need to knuckle down for the seminars rather than blossom out.  In the meantime, I had enjoyed the wonders of Stretch Therapy and the deep relaxation of Yin Yoga.

I began to doubt…was Viniyoga too limited?  Are the postural compensations too often, too indulgent, not challenging enough?  Why is it that those who practice Viniyoga seem to do so for a very long time without ever developing the stunning and deep flexibility that other lineages develop?  Why do my teachers, who evidently know a lot about yoga and have practised for years not seem to smile, not seem joyful (with the exception of Claude) ?  The questions rolled round my head and I found no answers.

The second, then the third seminars dragged on.  One of the group dropped out.  Doubt, head-scratching, the decision to stay.

Then, I read this article and realised something both simple and profound. Having completed the teacher training, having practised solidly since 1999, I had earned the right to innovate, create, both in my personal practice and in my classes.  Of course, I had always done this, I know that I am creative when it comes to sequencing, bhavanas, important details.  But, still, I limited myself.

I think I will grant myself a little more leeway from now on, find out how Viniyoga adapts to Rachel, not Rachel to Viniyoga. 

I still believe that the training I am pursuing is the highest quality teaching I can receive here and now.  It is I who needs to transform.  OM.  May you find your own path, too.  The Guru is in you.

An update on my teaching schedule

Hello dear readers!  I thought  that I ought to let you know that I am no longer teaching at Prana in Benidorm.  I am pleased to keep working directly with Anémona, Associación de Mujeres Afectadas por cáncer del mamá, in Benidorm.  I give a yoga class every Monday morning.  This class is for group members only.  I also have a group class on Thursdays at my little Altea room.  It is a 75 minute hatha yoga class and costs €7.  I also do private classes in Altea, by appointment.  AUM.  The Guru is in you.

Bharat at Shakti

I had the. er, honour, of attending a free (thanks!) yoga class at Albir’s ritzy new-ish yoga-ish venue, Shakti Albir this Monday past.  Mr Bharat Thakur led the 8PM class and sure put us through our paces.  Ahem.

I arrived at five to eight and was promptly signed in by the pert blonde on the desk, and given the key to locker number 7.  Through the swinging door, a few women were changing after the earlier class, or preparing for the upcoming one.  I recognised a lady from school – Russian – and said hi.  There was another Russian speaking on her phone, plus some rather more uncertain looking older but well preserved Spanish ladies.  Looking for the loo, I found a queue of two in front of the only stall.  I was surprised to see the three empty shower stalls on the other side of the sinks. I think that the architect must be a man!  ONE toilet for the ladies!  I held on.

So, I  stuffed my stuff in the attractive, wood panelled locker, turned the key and, past the swinging door, I veered left at the lobby and into the yoga room.  Mirrors along the front wall, monkey bars and gym wall apparatus on the far wall, windows at the back and a great big huge square pillar in the middle of the room.  The false ceiling wanted to be disguised by a zen-lite stained wood grid, but  the rather officey down lights were just as annoying and – well – downwards pointing as anything I have  had the displeasure of working beneath.  Four rows of eight soft foam (not nonslip PVC) yoga mats were hopefully laid out, but only about half were occupied by the time Mr. Guru turned up.  There were people of all shapes, sized and ages there, but Mr Smooth and his assistants didn’t ask anyone about injuries, hernias, dizziness, heart troubles or any of the myriad potentially dangerous conditions a general public might have in these pensioner-friendly climes.  I was in the front row and in the sights of the photographer capturing the moment for publici -er- posterity.

Thakur walks up and tells to sit comfortably, “however you like”.  Then immediately tells us to stand up.  Light chuckle.  He then shouts “Are you ready for a TOUGH class?”  Murmur from the room.  He tries again, gets no response, and decides we are pieces of shit right there and then for not whooping.

We jump straight in, I kid you not, jogging in place.  Then came some head circles, shoulder rolls, hip thrusts, knee bends, ankle twists.  Oh yes!  We’re doing yoga right?  He says “exhale on every stretch” when we are swinging our torsos wildly to and fro.  So, you mean, hyperventilate?  Sorry, didn’t quite understand your precise instruction about breath and movement co-ordination.

Salute the Sun, Dammit!

Thakur dons a headset and mic and launches us into sun salutations with a few mantras then the exhortation to “watch me and do exactly as I do!”  The Russian studio owner begins to pace the room, translating quite ably into Spanish.  Thakman barks “Breathe in, raise arms, arch back and …HOLD”.  Hold?  on the first inhale, in a spinal extension with arms up?  Hello pressure on the heart, aorta and jugular veins.  A few ominous gasps are heard from the second row.  He releases us, and gets us through a very simple Sivananda-style surya namaskar on the left leg.  He starts the next round the same way, holding on the inhale, then promptly screws up the leg alternations, sending a few of us skipping back to the left leg – as instructed – while the studio owner says “derecha?” (right?).  Thakur doesn’t acknowledge, choosing to blunder along through the next two rounds defaulting to “the OTHER leg” lest anyone be confused.  I know that nerves, fatigue, whatever, can interrupt a teacher’s right-left thing, but humility dictates observation and recognition of the error, without becoming attached to it.  Anyway…the guy behind me almost faints and Thakster rushes to him and tells him to lie his ashen-faced ass down.

Lie down!

Bodies warmed, we lie savâsana.  We then stretch the legs, hugging one knee then the other to our chests.  We then pull both knees in – kind of apanâsana, but no mention of how to breathe – before parting the legs somewhat to “get the knees down to the floor”.  People all around are struggling and straining, but I am helped by Bharat himself who looms over me like a carrior-eater and fixes me with his beady black eyes before pushing my legs roughly back in an adjustment that felt not only inappropriate but might have been frightening to a less mighty woman than myself.  I, instead, fixed him with a hard stare and opened my legs wide as they go.  Which is very far.

Next pose.

Legs are raised to 45º, held, then 60º, held, then 75º before finally getting overhead. The three instructors race around the room widly pushing people  with their unexpected and heavy-handed adjustments.   In dvipada-pitâm, I get the undiluted pleasure of another Bharat tip.  He grasps and pushes on my hipbones, making me raise my trunk against the pressure of his paws.  I do so, again staring him in the eye.  I do admit that I came more deeply into the pose than I normally do, but it was probably because by now I was beginning to get pissed off.  He asks me, into the mic, if I do yoga.  I nod yes.  He then walks away and says, into the mic “The trouble with people who do yoga is that they don’t smile.”  WTF?  Did he just insult me?  I don’t think anyone was listening, but that was dirty, buddy.  No, I don’t smile much when doing âsana.  But look at any picture of Krishnamacharya in postures and you won’t see his lips a flapping.  Anyway, in yoga we are looking within, not worrying about our pulchritude, or the opinion of a teacher in need or a reassuring simper.  I agree that the mouth should not turn down at the corners, but neutral is more like it, nah?

We flip onto our sad-assed bellies and do bhujangâsana (cobra), then finally, grasping ankles, we raise ourselves into a dhanurâsana (bow) not once but twice.

Relax dammit!

Nary a second are we out of bow pose before Thakur barks “relaxation with mantra”.  We are exhorted to sit comfortably and thus begins 15 minutes of terrible a-capella mantra wailing, headset and mic still in place.  We do Shivoham a bunch of times, then something that I failed to interpret “Raneham” or something.  Bharat does not deign to explain.  He whips our sorry Selves into shape when he blurts out “Shivoham means I am Shiva! I am the universal wisdom.  You must chant with FEELING, then the body will follow!”  We muster a little and try to make some noise, but we’d be more comfortable singing along at a U2 concert than some dude’s personal ego-fest.  (Bono notwithstanding).

At long last, we are released from our misery.  Thakur stalks out of the room and disappears.  I make a disparaging comment to my neighbour, then decide to shut up.  I grab my gear – in through the out door swing swing – drop my key, feign enjoyment (Blonde:  ”How was it?  Me:Good”) and beat it out to the street, still bursting to pee.

I walk to the car through the damp evening air and muse about the strange events I have just witnessed.  Yoga is about ego-taming, right? I read a lot on the yoga blogosphere about the strange beast Western yoga has become.  But, mostly, I am far removed from it.

The class had no room to relax, to enjoy, to connect, to be still, to center.  I know that open-house classes are hard, but presence, humility and joy are unmistakable and people feed off them in an instructor even if the teaching is clear but simple.  The voice is the sound of the heart, and Bharat chanting might be genuine, but I didn’t seem heartfelt.  I just didn’t hear his heart in his voice at any time, teaching, chanting or otherwise.

Bharat, by way of Russia, is trying to cash in on a yoga franchising idea that will only reel in the innocent and forever taint the message at the heart of the practice.  As with so many others gurus and saviours, the suffering of the many soon lines the pockets of the few, while them thieves throw scraps of mouldy manna, grimacing beatific grins.

Again and again, I give thanks for the sense and reason of Claude Maréchal’s teaching of yoga.  I am so glad I found my lineage.

The Guru is in you.

(PS  This text, while not flattering, is not calling Bharat Thakur a charlatan or anything of the sort.  I am sure that he is eminently qualified, and I know nothing.  This in only my opinion.  Like it or lump it, I am allowed to hold my own opinion, as are you.)  Here is the man himself, btw.  Imagine that star stare hovering above you during matwork…

Los 9 obstáculos en el camino del yoga

Los 9 obstáculos en el camino del yoga.

Let us yog!

I found this lovely quote whilst surfing the yoga blogosphere:

Within me is my true self, and my true self is both good and beautiful, and therefore, I am both good and beautiful.

My life can touch others in a positive way and this gives me the power to change the world. I can change the world.

I have the power to love myself and to love others. I can be a positive force in the universe.

(http://www.instantgoodkarma.org/index.html)

It would make a nice dedication when opening the class. AUM.